OUR RIGHT TO KNOW
"Because Every Child Deserves To Know Their Story" My mission is to provide an online support group for illegitimate children while safely talking about common life events shared in a group setting.
A fork In The Road
I was told a little over a year ago that my dad may or may not be my biological father. At 52 years old my world and all that I ever knew was completely shattered. I was not prepared for what was to follow....
In my case, what followed was being discarded by the only family I've known. A year of self doubt, guilt, and shame. A year of learning things about myself I wouldn't have learned otherwise had I not been told this information. Not to mention being put on medications for anxiety, sleep, and PTSD.
It is my hope to share with others not only our DNA stories, but all that is associated with being a "secret" child. I have created this website because I simply could not find any support groups specifically for illegitimate children. There are various FB groups for DNA & geneology, however none that are specifically for illegitimate children and all the thoughts and feelings associated with this new information we have been given in life. For many of us we face a fork in the road as to whether we follow our true DNA or choose to ignore our new information.
After learning my shocking news I was completely devastated. I was also terrified that I may never learn who my biological father is. It was the most terrifying feeling I have ever had. While I still attend one-on-one counseling sessions with a trauma counselor and a psychiatrist monthly, I still feel very alone because no one is "just like me." It is an isolating feeling that most people will never have to experience in their lives.
I can only speak of my journey and all that it has led me to in my life. In my case, I have lost a mother, father, and sister. I have discovered my true heritage and have reached out to new family members. I will share with you my story in hopes to hear yours and collaborate together. I believe by sharing our experiences with others in the same situation we will not feel so isolated. I want to talk with others who also have experienced the same feelings and emotions that I have. I also want to hear how you have coped and overcame your personal obstacles.
While some may be happy in discovering their biological family, I was in shock and disbelief. All that I have ever known for 52 years was a complete lie. I did, however, finally have an answer to who my biological father was. I realize others are not so lucky. It is truly a terrifying and lonely feeling. I have met 2 first cousins and 2 of my aunts (my biological fathers sisters). To sit across from strangers and think "This is my aunt and cousin" is surreal. It is a roller coaster of emotions that I could not possibly explain to anyone else not going through this. I have contacted my brothers through a letter and to date have not heard back. I have no expectations. I cannot imagine their family learning of this news. Especially if their dad was their hero like my dad was. Plus, their mother is still alive. I do not wish for a spouse to find this out. If it's meant for us to meet it will happen. It has to be right for both parties.
I want to hear about your journey. I want to hear how you have coped with all of your information that was given to you. We are not "secret" children. We all have a right to know our story. Please join me in this private FB group or e-mail me with your stories, thoughts, comments, input, pictures, etc. Just as there are "search angels" on DNA sites, I too would be happy to help anyone who wishes to follow their DNA but could use a little help.